It Gives Me the Creeps

I've told you about a few things I'm afraid of.

Little fears of mine that are probably daily occurences to you, yet I avoid them like I avoid hotels that don't have a Starbucks in sight.

Sitting in restaurant booths would be one. Can't stand the gathering of food crumbs in the back of the cushion seat that seem to stare at me as if to say, 'Hi, we just fell from the mouths of the people who were seated here before you.' Totally gross.

That's just one of a few I've admitted to. One I haven't?

Driving through a carwash.

It starts with the process of lining up my left front tire on the automated track, and it doesn't matter that they provide a large mirror on the outside of the building or that I get motioned in by a friendly employee who is drenching himself with the spray hose. I'm always too far right or too far left and the entire thing makes me nervous. I've gotten much better at it, but it's enough to make me break out in full-body hives. Possibly worse than when my husband was forced to wear a pink shirt for my niece's 'wear only pink' party. Much worse.

Then there's the car-wash dungeon, where I've convinced myself the track will malfunction, leaving me stuck in there, as pink and blue soap covers my windows in puffy lines like toothpaste in a sink. After all, there's no panic button to stop the thing, no red elevator phone to pick up when things go south. It's enough to make me wanna drive around with bird droppings on my back window for a lifetime.

Just wave when you see me.

Oh, I suppose I should mention that my fear may be the result of driving over the foot of a friendly employee years ago.

But, I'm sure he's healed by now.