August 7th.One year ago today, my father passed away.A long year, yet I'm grateful for the way my family has stuck together. The one-year mark brings mixed emotions regarding the signficance of the date. It's the day I lost my dad, yet thankfully it's the end of the 'firsts,' those dreaded occasions we endured without him for the very first time. Many people told us the first year would be the hardest, and they were right. Our family still gathered, celebrated, recognized achievements, and blew out candles, but it wasn't the same. There is a missing link. It's like doing a puzzle that you can't complete, or building a tower and removing the block in the middle.I look forward to ending what seemed like an impossible year, a year where I viewed life as before and after. The date has been etched in my brain, as in...'that was before dad died, that happened after,' and when I see August 6th on an old receipt, I can't help but think, 'That was when Dad was still here.' Maybe one day I won't do that, until then I've just grown accustomed to it, kinda like I've grown used to instant flashbacks of Dad each time I hear a certain Tim McGraw song on the radio.It's certainly been a year of growing, questioning, wondering, reminiscing, and remembering, and with that, I wrote the following list:I RememberYour flat feetCombing what little hair you had to the side with your fingersYour call to say that Anderson got a StarbucksYour walk to Dairy Queen for lunch, yet leaving with an ice creamI RememberYour special recipe for CheeseballYour love for tiny glass bottles of CokeHow you never looked at the buttons when using a calculatorWhen you stated your first and last name to answer your phoneI RememberThose trendy brown SkechersThe way your eyes danced when we were all togetherThe Tootsie Rolls in your pocketCountless games of Trivial PursuitI Remember
The phone call that morningHolding my sister's hand on the way to the hospitalThe world standing stillYet somehow turning the following day.
I Remember.Remembering you always, Dad...and hoping for new beginnings.
Friday, August 7, 2009
It's been a long 365 days
August 7th.One year ago today, my father passed away.A long year, yet I'm grateful for the way my family has stuck together. The one-year mark brings mixed emotions regarding the signficance of the date. It's the day I lost my dad, yet thankfully it's the end of the 'firsts,' those dreaded occasions we endured without him for the very first time. Many people told us the first year would be the hardest, and they were right. Our family still gathered, celebrated, recognized achievements, and blew out candles, but it wasn't the same. There is a missing link. It's like doing a puzzle that you can't complete, or building a tower and removing the block in the middle.I look forward to ending what seemed like an impossible year, a year where I viewed life as before and after. The date has been etched in my brain, as in...'that was before dad died, that happened after,' and when I see August 6th on an old receipt, I can't help but think, 'That was when Dad was still here.' Maybe one day I won't do that, until then I've just grown accustomed to it, kinda like I've grown used to instant flashbacks of Dad each time I hear a certain Tim McGraw song on the radio.It's certainly been a year of growing, questioning, wondering, reminiscing, and remembering, and with that, I wrote the following list:I RememberYour flat feetCombing what little hair you had to the side with your fingersYour call to say that Anderson got a StarbucksYour walk to Dairy Queen for lunch, yet leaving with an ice creamI RememberYour special recipe for CheeseballYour love for tiny glass bottles of CokeHow you never looked at the buttons when using a calculatorWhen you stated your first and last name to answer your phoneI RememberThose trendy brown SkechersThe way your eyes danced when we were all togetherThe Tootsie Rolls in your pocketCountless games of Trivial PursuitI Remember
The phone call that morningHolding my sister's hand on the way to the hospitalThe world standing stillYet somehow turning the following day.
I Remember.Remembering you always, Dad...and hoping for new beginnings.
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7 comments:
I remember too, Deb. Most of all, I remember the way he loved us.
It does not get better than that!
Love you,
Shel
cough drops,
dooby do, dooby doo,
well thats just stupid,
a few more memories of Miko
He will NEVER be forgotten and always missed... He is one special Dad.
Love you,
Nick
You are all in my thoughts today. He was a very special dad to you all.
Your blog has brought lots of us "relief" as we're dealing with losses also. THANK YOU for writing for us all. My one year date for my dad's loss: Nov. 8, 2009. I'd have to say that Father's Day was the roughest day so far.
Vicwyn-
Thanks for reading! Father's Day was the most difficult for me as well, wanting to call him and not being able to.
I wish you the best in November. We all thought it would be just another day, and were surprised by the emotions that triggered without notice.
Sorry for your loss.
Best,
Deb
Our thoughts and prayers are with you Deb, as always. Hug the boys for me..hope to see you soon.
Love,
Amy Michael
@ your local Starbucks...=)
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