Thursday, April 29, 2010

an unexpected moment

Sunny day. Kids playing in the backyard. Husband mowing the grass.

You've been there.

That was the setting last night at my house, after a round of pancakes and bacon for dinner. During that meal, my 5-year-old mentioned something about looking forward to going to bed.

Who are you and what happened to Hayden?

The kid who is famous for the phrase 'One more minute?' when told it's bedtime all of the sudden couldn't wait to be tucked in? He went on explain that he planned to wear his superhero pj's, the ones that light up when you move, the ones from Papaw Mike. 'Cause when it lights up, I know he loves me.' I smiled. A smile soon followed by a lump in my throat, a bitter combination of missing my sweet dad, yet happy my little guy has held on to fond memories. After all, he was only three when Dad died.

Hayden went on to say he missed Papaw Mike sticking his tongue out at him, the Dum-Dum suckers he snuck the boys, and his hugs.

Me, too.

So, while the boys played baseball and Greg trimmed the yard, I ran upstairs to my memory box and sifted through some of Dad's favorite things that I grabbed for safe-keeping nearly two years ago:

The half-eaten pack of Necco wafers.

The last grocery list he wrote, with a rarely mispelled word.

The now-faded McDonald's receipt where he purchased his last coffee.

I hadn't done this in a long time, yet it was important for me to feel this connection. I quietly tucked these items away, and suddenly looked forward to our usual hectic bedtime routine, just to see Hayden's pajamas blink in the dark.

A moment that would usually go unnoticed, yet now seemed so significant.

4 comments:

Susie said...

I lost my mom to cancer in 2006, my children were very young at the time as was your children. I know exactly how you were feeling last night. I have done the exact same thing. It is a sweet, little gift from Heaven when our babes bring us closer to our loved ones that we have lost. Please continue to share, it makes me not feel like I'm not the only person in the world feeling this way!
http://suzmccorkle.blogspot.com

Aubrey said...

Deb - your boys are so sweet and caring. Doesn't it warm your heart that at such a young age our children can hold on to those special memories of people we loved so dearly who have passed on. Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Nickie Eisele said...

So precious! I miss him dearly and wish he was here to tease me now! I also love the fact that you have a box full of memories! He lives on through you, Deb. I see his smile in you every time I see you...and in your beautiful boys as well! Love you!

mamaw said...

Deb that is is so sweet!!! It's so hard losing your parents. I think of mine everyday. Sometimes it is just a little thing that reminds you of them. The boys are so sweet. And it makes you feel good that they remember your dad. He loved them and all of you so!! He was a great dad.